Right. Answer me honestly.
Do you know what being an introvert or extrovert actually means?
Do ya though? Do ya really?
Cos, see, I think we’re all a lil confused. Including me. Until very recently.
Read the story…
So, my mate Meggles (Meg) and I had booked a weekend to go to London, see a burlesque show and drink loads. She lives in Newcastle and me in Sutton Coldfield, so we rarely get to meet.
As she was flying from Atlanta to Newcastle with a layover in Heathrow, she thought she could get her bags at Heathrow and just forgo the last part of her trip.
Our whole weekend was based around that thought. Turns out…nah, not that easy. So, as Meggles was stuck in the connections bit with no escape, I was cross-country railin’, totes obliv. I got off, got signal and discovered the news. Ahh…tits. No Meg 🙁
So, with our hotel, dinner and burlesque tickets all booked, Matt in Lisbon on a stag, and a list of London contacts that had never stretched further than a poke on Facebook, or a “when the f*ck did I meet an Amrit?”, I decided to go it alone.
OK, so y’know when people tell you about what a terrible time they had away and you’re there like, “oh my good god pass me the p’corn, I live for this shit”. Soz sugar, this ain’t one of those times. In fact, it’s annoyingly opposite. Because going it alone was the best thing I’ve done in yonks. And it was so because I learned what kind of person I really am…
See, as I sat at my gorgeous lil table on the front row of the burlesque show, I took a few minutes to really take it all in. Y’know, really ‘basque’ in my surroundings. I must have been in a trance, ‘cos when I came to, I was staring right at the forehead of a guy sat opposite his partner. I swear, he either thought I was suggesting a three-way or that I was a terrorist.
Truth is, I didn’t even notice the guy – I was actually thinking how amazing I felt just being there on my own. I realised how energised I was being fanny no friends.
Not to be a dick, but I was actually grateful Meggles wasn’t there (love ya Meg).
Then I started thinking of some of the other times I’ve felt well good – and a lot of them were on my own. How sometimes I just longed for people to cancel so I could spend an evening not having to talk. How, after a weekend with the girls I’d just need to get in my car, go to a pub and sit by myself with a glass of wine and Mama Life mag – oh you know 😉
But then, at the same time I love nothing more than being surrounded by people and really digging in deep to what makes them tick, talking at length about the Universe and generally being a full on tree-shaggin’ dweeb.
Hmm. Identity crisis, much? You can probs tell it sent me into a bit of tail spin.
So, what’s the big deal? Why does this even matter?
Well sugar, it matters loads, because that solo trip to London unmasked a whole side of myself I’d totally neglected. And, having always been labelled an extrovert, I was so confused at how peaceful I was being introverted…
So, I took a personality test, realised I’m smack bang 50/50 intro/extro split, and spoke to a friend who has more sense than me so she could help me understand… What she told me blew my mind, as the real meaning of what being an introvert and extrovert actually means is totally not what we all thought…See, being introverted or extroverted ain’t about being quiet, loud, soft or bolshy, it’s actually about where you get your energy from.
Natural introverts get their energy from themselves and natural extroverts get their energy from others. ‘The example she used was that, if after a full day of being around people, an introvert is asked, “Do you want to go to the party?”, the likelihood is she will say no and need to be on her own to re-energise.
An extrovert, on the other hand, when asked the same question, will be all “hell to the muva- f**kin’ yea I want to party”, because she needs other people to keep her energy alive. So, in reality, you can absolutely be a loud introvert and equally a quiet extrovert, it’s all dependent on where you get your energy from.
And knowing whether you’re an introvert or extrovert is actually uber important; because it’ll help you understand where you get your kicks from and how you should, depending on your personality type, relax.
Now, you might be thinking one of two things…
#1 – “I already knew this shit, can I get the last 5 minutes back, please?”
Or #2 – “Holy hell…WHAT AM I!?”
Well, if you’re in camp 1, then…soz. And if you’re in camp 2, you can do what I did and take the free personality test at www.16personalities.com.
Trust me sugar, it’s worth the time. And if you discover you feel energised being fanny no friends at a burlesque show too, then look out for the lass in the polka dot scarf staring at you as if suggesting a scissor-sesh.
Stay sassy,
Lucy