I heard Covid rage being mentioned the other day. Scenarios of people being less tolerant and blaming others. This reminds me of the stages of grief, of which anger is one of the stages. We are all experiencing loss, so it is understandable that so many of us are feeling angry. It is important we allow that anger to surface, but in a healthy way. It is unhealthy to take anger out on each other. In my private practice, I use what I call an anger cushion to express anger. Ironically, it’s part of my sofa – and my partner gets angry when it goes missing … if only he had the anger cushion to take it out on! Joking aside, I have seen time and time again how bottled up anger can turn into depression and suicidal thoughts. It reminds me of the saying,
‘Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm’.
So here we are. The more we fight it the more it impacts our own mental health. Yes, for most people it’s a rubbish situation, and it is so important to acknowledge this. It’s also important to know that we will feel fed up and down from day to day. Some days we might not have the energy to do anything, as some people may be so affected by the situation that it causes episodes of depression. If this is you, then I encourage you to show compassion for yourself and know that it will pass. If the depression is prolonged then I really encourage you to talk to someone you trust, such as your doctor and seek professional support through this time. So many of us are finding it difficult to make sense of everything that’s happening and are struggling to find hope. Most of us are on an emotional roller coaster, riding through the five stages of grief. If you want to learn more about this then have a look at my free online show, a coronavirus special on my YouTube channel.
One of the stages of grief is acceptance. The more we accept this situation, it allows room for something else, such as creativity. By accepting the situation, we also allow connection and the realisation that we are all going through difficult times, and we need each other now more than ever.
We can change our focus. We can acknowledge that we are in this situation and think about how we can make the most of it.
One of the reasons contributing to our boredom is we’re lacking our usual conversations. Many of us have not been out doing our usual activities that give us things to talk about! Luckily, we don’t have to go ‘out-out’ to have experiences to talk about. We can have ‘out-ins’, as one of the attendees on my recent online show called it.
I took my Mental Health Show on Anxiety online as I couldn’t perform it in theatre because of the pandemic, and was delighted by how successful it was. During the show, we laughed and we learned. I used the chat function on Zoom to engage people as part of the learning. I encouraged body language like thumbs-up and thumbs-down to answer questions, and used waves as claps. We had a great sing-song and a great dance! Afterwards, one of the attendees said, “I never thought about using Zoom for entertainment, not just for meetings!”
For me, my shows give me a purpose. They give me that feeling of achievement and feeling that I am making a difference.
Working as a counsellor, I have real concerns about the increase of suicidal thoughts and intent. As a result I am planning a new Mental Health Show 8 on ‘Understanding Suicide’. This will give us the opportunity to come together, educate ourselves about suicide and help each other from a preventative point of view. If you want to know more about my upcoming shows, then visit my website www.mindmanagementforyou.com
There are so many ways you can make a difference and combat boredom at this time. Near where I live, a 10-year-old put up a lovely letter by a canal bridge encouraging others not to throw litter in the canal to protect nature. My neighbour makes great cakes, and sometimes, when I’ve had a tough day counselling, I hear her come out and then I see a plate of chocolate buns has been passed over the fence! What a difference that makes to my day – and my partner’s too!
Earlier on this year we had the 8 o’clock clap for the NHS every Thursday night. For a lot of people, not only were we acknowledging the amazing NHS, we were also combatting loneliness and building communities. Some people have continued this by arranging a time every week for each family to sit outside their house and talk, to find out how everyone is doing. This is a great initiative in helping each other in whatever ways we can, connecting and combatting boredom at the same time.
When it comes to boredom, I encourage you to be creative and think about what you can do. I encourage you to add variety. So, for example, if cooking has got you through these hard times then challenge yourself to cook something outside your comfort zone.
Getting out of our comfort zones and challenging ourselves creatively is good for us.
The internet is full of things we can do – different games, hobbies, learning new skills. Ask others what they have done to combat boredom. I bet together we could come up with loads of ways to help each other stay busy.
A goal gives us a sense of purpose and gives us something to focus on. It doesn’t matter how big or small the goal is, as long as it gives us something to work towards and provides a welcome distraction from coronavirus.
Remember a beautiful day during a pandemic is still a beautiful day. Regardless of what happens, we can still continue on. For me, it’s not about what’s happening, it’s about what we can do about it. I can continue to do regular exercise, getting myself out into nature for walks or exercising indoors. I can still have fun and have a laugh with my family and friends. So, for example, the other day, whilst speaking to my mum I could hear my dad in the background saying, “I’m on my way out!”, to which I cheekily replied, “Ask Dad has he signed the papers!”. We all had a good laugh! Growing up, there would be the obituaries column in the newspaper, and I would hear people say,
“When I wake up, I look at the death notices, and if I’m not there – I get up!”
As mentioned earlier, it is unhealthy to take anger out on each other. Now more than ever we need to continue to support and work together. I honestly believe that our best support can come from each other. In years to come there will be amazing stories of how we united together, adapted and used our creativity.
Sheila McMahon is a Tamworth based Qualified Mental Health Counsellor RegMBACP, FTP and Comedienne.
A published author who has also appeared on TV and radio, Shiela has performed numerous shows to help Tamworth and other locally based charities.